The Great Big Biased ONE SENTENCE View of Your Premier League Team

Here are some very realistic and serious thoughts about what we think of your team.  It is 100% accurate.  Don’t do anything embarrassing by pretending this isn’t EXACTLY what your team is like.


Arsenal are like a fine wine for people who don’t like wine.


Can Bournemouth fans stop pretending they aren’t going to take League One by storm in the 2019/20 season.


No one knows where Burnley is.


Doing chronic damage to your own team’s chances by demanding your club keep playing a really old, really bad centre back who happens to be a racist.

Crystal Palace

Everyone knows what is going to happen.


Relegate them for what they did to Tony Hibbert.


West Brom 2002-2008.


You might have a league title but you also have goal music and a drum.


Everyone loves Klopp but secretly cannot wait for the fall.

Manchester City

The first football club to be run as a PR agency.

Manchester United

Your own club pretended there was a bomb at your last home game to stop you coming back to realise their dream of moving closer to a major London airport.


Is Bryan Robson the really good chairman there?


We’re all secretly trying to work out if administration and going into League One could be as beneficial to our clubs.

Stoke City

Everyone has maximum respect for the way Mark Hughes has utterly transformed Tony Pulis’ inconsistent, average, mid-table side into what they are today.


17th and two early cup exits for the win.


Get a lot of deserved credit for not being Cardiff fans.


Some beast that was, lads.


When your rivals are Luton and MK Dons you know you’ve a Football League Trophy final coming up in the next 5 years.

West Brom

Whatever happened to Steve Clarke?

West Ham

Honouring the memory of those two gangsters (twins?) in East London who stole from and murdered everyone, by stealing a stadium and killing their own community.

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